In-laws, Out-laws and Captain Smallbeard

Over the past 6 weeks we’ve hosted several loved ones, off and on Pandion, stretching out her elastic sides for some fabulous catch-ups.

One condition of visiting the Good Ship Pandion is that all who arrive must hand over the maximum permissible quantity of honey (1 litre), so the excitement of greeting visitors as they arrive is super-sized by an anticipatory sugar-high.

*Note: there’s an unspoken rule at play on Pandion in these times of hardship and rationing and it is this: if a luxury item is packaged and sealed, nobody will touch it, although everybody will jealously monitor its exact location in the Joy Locker.  The moment somebody cracks the seal, all bets are off.  I was naively eking out the tahini a molecule at a time until I noticed that the level was falling like a Havannah Pass tidal race and I realised that if I wanted to get my fair share I was going to have to either hide the jar (which is deemed foul play by all) or pog in.  I pogged in.  (Er, guess who cracks the seal 9.9 times out of 10?  By his claw marks we know him.)

The Mother and Son Extravaganza

Matching grey cardies!

First to arrive, back in Noumea, were Grandma and Grandad.  They’d timed their arrival to synchronise important birthdays (80 & 45.)  We whipped them out of the airport and drove them straight up into the mountains we’d been lusting after ever since we’d arrived.   

Our gite came with homemade croissants for breakfast

Reminy loved the garden art. This is only one of 5 million pictures she took.

As gites go, the gite we stayed at up in Farino was pretty nice. (A “gite” is not an insult – it’s a small, locally run accommodation option.)

I love this photo.  While Miles is busy advertising toothpaste, Grandma takes the opportunity to blow out their single, shared candle.  Grandad just looks mildly cynical – he’s seen this kind of behaviour before.

Stage Two of Barbara and Terry’s trip was a stay in a hotel in Anse Vata with magical sunset views.

They came and checked out the Noumea municipal markets with us and witnessed a somewhat baffling performance by the local Australian regiment bag-pipe band performing “the Aussie set” which included Waltzing Matilda and The Road to Gundagai.  It was Bastille Day and every epaulette and service medal in Noumea had been dusted off and polished and was out on display and blocking the traffic. Another day Grandad and Grandma played hooky and took themselves off to towno – they had a wonderful time wandering around and ended up in our favourite patisserie for lunch, Le Petite Choux.

Stage Three was a couple of nights out at Ilot Maitre, which is a marine park but also has a luxurious resort we could anchor Pandion off.  Grandad nearly drowned himself with his super-enthusiastic Jacques Cousteau-inspired back flip off the tender in full snorkeling regalia, which we have reproduced here for your viewing pleasure.  After multiple screenings it still brings tears to my eyes. 

While they were reclining in their waterfront lodgings in terry toweling robes, we weathered a squall out on Pandion but came gratefully in out of the cold to make full use of their (wait for it) BATH.

Back in Noumea they treated us to a farewell lunch at Marmites which might be one of the best meals we’ve ever eaten.  Warning: gastroporn ahead.

Budi being quietly satisfied with his guinea-fowl

Reminy awaiting the arrival of her duck

Sylvie being slightly daunted by her dessert

My amazing salad

We loved seeing you both – we had so much fun.

 

The Adventures of Captain Smallbeard

This map, created by all the crew at the Vila airport as he was leaving us, represents Yani’s three-weeks- plus stay aboard Pandion.  He joined us in Noumea, traveled out to some of the marine parks nearby, cleared out of the country with us, moseyed around in Prony while we waited for a weather window, made the passage to Vanuatu with us (2 days 2 nights), stayed on Tanna with us for over a week and then made the two jumps to Erromango and then Efate with us.  What can I say?  Yani is NO TROUBLE WHATSOEVER as a house guest, even if your house is the size of a caravan.  It wasn’t just the constant “Is there anything I can do to help?” (Yes, almost always), it was his perpetual good cheer, even when struck down by the Welcome to Vanuatu Spewfest.  One of my favourite things about Yani is the daggy, child-like side that asks questions like, “Would you rather swim naked through 50 metres of blue-bottles or put your hand in the wind generator?”

P.s. Swim through blue bottles, duh.

P.s. Yani is on Instagram where he’s posted a short film of his travels on Pandion.  Check him out at yanisurfer.

Yani and Rems looking for turtles

 

The temporary fourth child

On our way to the volcano

Yani getting a lesson on de-husking mature coconuts

 

Yani enjoying his parrot fish, at last

The Gardener & the Fisherman

Like the bold, ready-for-anything world travelers they are, my parents arranged to meet us in Port Vila with all of five days’ notice.  We picked them up at the airport, stowed them in a spacious apartment on the waterfront with a WASHING MACHINE and a DRYER (and also the world’s stinkiest fridge) and then dragged them around Vila to help us provision for our next stint.  Poppy went off to the fishing and tackle shop with the boys, Mama came on a local bus with me up the hill to the supermarket, and everyone rendezvoused at the markets where we inexplicably doubled up on chokos and tomatoes.

Early on day three we picked them up from the dingy wharf, dropped the mooring and headed around Devil’s Point and up into the protected waters of Havannah Harbour.  

The fun started when we hooked a wahoo the size of China, tried to gaff it, lost the gaff, lost Miles (who jumped in after the gaff), and then lost the darn fish.  Found the gaff.  Found Miles.  Nearly lost Mama, who tried to float out the pass and head north under her own steam.

Around that time Poppy also lost a decent portion of his scalp to the vicious end of The Hobbit Hole known as Rachel Mackenzie (nothing personal Rackll), in spite of regular warnings by the youngest crew member  - “There are no birds on Pandion, Poppy, so when you see a sign that says “Duck!” you should straightaway duck."

We were playing Around the Compass with the wind, so we went further into the harbour and anchored off the gardens of a local village.  Taking in a queenfish as currency, we went ashore, met the chief, exchanged the fish for green coconuts and general goodwill and went wandering through the gardens trying to find someone to sell us plantains.  We met Morris and his family camped out at their gardens for the two-week school holidays and he offered to show us how he grows tomatoes and yams, which was completely thrilling for the Visiting Botanist on board. 

Morris' yam patch, newly planted

So many tomatoes even Mama couldn't eat them all (although she tried)

We treated Mum and Dad to some local food and made Lap lap one night and got them to help out with our cottage industry – FYI, 12 coconuts makes a measly 250 ml of coconut oil.  And it’s pretty messy.

Poppy working hard on the coconut grater

One of the many fish Poppy did end up landing - a golden trevally.

Loved seeing you guys – it always goes way too fast.

The Knitting Nanas

The Fellas

The total amount of goods muled in by visitors to Pandion thus far:

3 litres honey

10 + blocks of chocolate

3.5 kilos almond meal

1 kg Colby cheese

2.5 kg peanut butter

1 jar tahini

Many kilos of boat parts- including a tube of butyl mastik that looks suspiciously like plastic explosive.

2 bottles gin

8 packets of stoopenwaffle

A mega variety pack of men’s underwear in rainbow hues. (Thank God, the kids were being scarred for life by Miles’ Droopers.)

Medihoney, Travelcalm red, dettol and chlorsig ointment

I’m sure there’s more.

Thank you all, it is so very appreciated.  And also mostly gone.